Wow, some parents

Ok so this is some messed up stuff. We watch a couple of kids for a friend. We have for several years. Just recently, about a year ago, this friend got a divorce. Now this is where it gets messed up. They went and got a divorce the cheap way. Online. Normally that would not be an issue. When they set up the divorce, the custody was supposed to be 50/50. I say supposedly because it never worked out that way. The guy would show up at 6am to see the kids, or he would show up around 10 pm to see them after they had gone to bed. Still not sure what this guy was thinking of while he did this, but I have never know this person to think straight. This is the same guy that told me the little red record light on my DVR from Directv was a CIA mandated camera. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Anyways, custody was to have been 50/50. He never took the kids, never really wanted to keep them overnight unless our friend had taken my wife out of town to do mystery shops and the kids had gone with. He would neglect to tell anyone this until they were already out of town and it would be pointless to turn back. This would escalate into "You WILL let me see my children tonight" knowing full well they would not be back until the next day. On the days my wife would think that he would be taking them, he would call at the last second and tell his ex that he had to work on his truck or something so he could not take them. I know for a fact he would not be working on his truck. He was glued to a computer screen playing games, just like he spent the first 3 and a half years of his daughter's life. He could not be bothered to get up to watch the kids, or to help with dinner, or to do anything with us when we were over there. What made it even worse was that he had a computer program put on his ex-wife's computer that would allow him remote access to EVERYTHING on it. He knew what she was doing, was posting things on her profiles from different sites. He used the excuse that he had to do it that way so he could "help her out if she had problems with it." Instead, important emails were deleted, sites that he had no right to access were accessed and things posted on there. Help her my ass!

All this is really pretty minor. The thing that gets me is that this guy does nothing to keep a job. To tell how much I trust him, check this out. He was working at Wendy's here in Pocatello. All of the sudden he came to get the kids, saying that he was laid off for the winter. I looked him right in the eye and called him on it. "Bullshit! Fast food does not lay off for the winter. They either fire you, or you quit. Which one was it?" He would not admit that he quit for about 6 months. You can not pull that with me. I worked as a manager in fast food for years. He just can not hold a job, or will not hold a job. And the fuel to the fire is the fact that our friend has the kids almost all the time, and HE is the one that gets the child support. Since he does not have a job, he gets the child support. And to top it all off, he calls my friend this morning to ask if she has paid her child support because he does not have any gas in his truck. For one, that is not what child support is for. It is money that needs to be paid to support the children. Hence the name "Child Support". Secondly, you know that your truck is a piecer, yet you keep it around anyways. What is the point? Sell it for scrap, take what you can get out of it, and go find a way to get a decent vehicle and go from there. Quit living off the government, you can support yourself.

I came out alright

You know, people are so worried about how kids act these days. I remember a time when I was little where the worst thing I could hear from anyone was "Just wait until your father gets home." That was enough to make anyone walk the straight and narrow. My parents believed in spanking. I am the oldest of 4, so I got it a lot. Especially when I was not doing what I was supposed to, or if I did something what was wrong. I was no angel. I have been spanked with a shoe, a belt, a hand. And someone has to understand, THAT IS NOT ABUSE!!!! There is a line between spanking as discipline and abusing your kids. I turned out ok. I have not killed anyone. Yeah, I fought and drank and tried drugs. I have even spent nights with women. But I was NEVER abused.

Moral of the story is, parents do not be afraid to discipline your children. They are not too young to learn, they are not too young to start. One word of caution: It is YOUR responsibility to define the line between being a good parent and making sure that your child knows what they did was wrong, and just going off the deep end and beating the hell out of your child. No one can do it for you. Better they learn it now, rather than have to learn it the hard way later on in life.

A day to remember

Veteran's Day. 11/11/11. This is a day where we honor those of us that have dedicated their lives to protect the freedoms that we have come to take for granted. Most of us do not enter the military. I am one that ended up choosing to not join at the last moment. That is a story that I have told no one, not even my wife. I was just out of high school. Graduated, thinking of college, my girlfriend, all the stuff that a guy my age should be thinking of. I had talked it over with people I trusted. My parents, my friends at school and church, even my football coach. Believe it or not, he could listen real good when he needed to, or when someone needed him to. I thought I had made my decision. I was going to go out, sign the papers, and become a Marine. That is what I had always told myself I would be if I were to join the armed forces. My parents told me their opinion. They wanted me home, going to school, where they thought I would be safe. I was not worried about being safe. I could hold my own. I proved it a few times in college. The night before I was going to go to the recruiting office, I had a long night. I was laying in bed thinking of what I was going to do the next day. I was excited. I was stoked. I was ready to go. I remember the dream like it was last night. I was sitting in my living room in Jerome, and I was talking with a man there on the couch. The only detail I can NOT remember was who I was talking to. I just know it was a man. We were talking about my reasons for joining. I wanted to be part of something great, and the Marines would help me do that. I would be part of the greatest fighting force in the world. Funny part is that I really do not like to fight. But we were talking, and it got to a point in our conversation where I asked him what he thought about me going off to be in the military. He sat there, quiet and in thought. He told me that it was my decision. "There is nothing that I can or will do to change your mind on what you want to do" he told me. "This is your choice, and I will not take that from you. I do believe, though, that if you stay you will be part of something much greater. I believe that you have a very important work to do here." I remember sitting there and thinking of what he meant. He never told me what he was talking about. When I woke up the next day, I had a complete change of heart. I was not going off to be a Marine. And I was ok with that. Not for fear of what was to come if I enlisted. I had that feeling that I was to be doing something else one day, and that being part of the military was not in the picture. I still showed up at the recruiter's office. I went and told him that I appreciated the time and effort he put into giving me all the info I would need to make an educated choice, but that I would not be signing my life away at that moment. He tried to get me to change my mind. At one point, another soldier came in and made some comment about "being a pussy and not being man enough." He left that day with a dislocated arm, and the recruiter shook my hand. I have always respected the men and women that have served this great country. This includes friends, family, people that I treated as family. I still think of them that way. You all know that you have my respect, my thanks, and my support. I may not like the idea of fighting, but sometimes you have to. To all those that have served, will serve, or are serving now. Thank you, for everything.

It's my life!!

You know, I do ask for advice from time to time. Some times a lot, some times not so much. I just hate the idea of everyone making my decisions for me. This morning at breakfast, we had a family breakfast. That means everyone was over to eat. Mom cooked it all, as normal, and she did a great job, also as normal. We got into a discussion of what would happen if someone was to win the $203 million prize for the lottery this week. Mom told us that if she won it, she would buy us all one car for the family, and a house wherever we wanted. My wife mentioned that we had thought that maybe we would want to move to Galveston after our little vacation in March. I was promptly told "You do not want to live there." Why not? Give me a reason why I should think the same way that everyone else does. But who am I to argue. This is coming from the same person that when told we could get one car for the family, he looked at his wife and said "THIS is what we are getting." I know that I am not perfect, in fact my marriage is far from perfect. But I have learned from my side and my wife's side of the family, the best way to do things is to talk it over between the two of you, not say "THIS is how it is, deal with it." I came to where I am now because my then fiance gave me a choice. You can stay here and we can try a long distance relationship, or you can come with me. It was not an ultimatum, it was an offer. I am not good with the long distance things, so I opted to go with. That has to be one of the best decisions of my life. Sure I have made some stupid ones. I am still breathing, so I will make some more stupid ones. All I know is that I have gotten some awesome advice from people that mean very much to me. "Do what you have to for you and your wife to be happy. That is what is the best for you. If others do not like it, then they will have to deal with it."